But Wait! There’s More!

May 14, 2009


Now That’s livin’ folks!  Lemme tall ya THAT’S what I want to do! Park my narrow backside on the sofa with that nifty table-mate II! Look how happy that lovely couple is!  They have thier drinks, and a tasty snack.  A true Nirvana. Life is good. Oh to be that happy ……..  

“Where’s the remote honey, American Idol is coming on now!” 

I don’t have it dearest

You don’t? Damn  didn’t we get our Remote Finder yet?

No, I though you got it before we sat down in front of our tasty snacks and orange juice.

By the way – where’s the Vodka?

Now now cupcake, you know Dr. Killpatient said you need to cut down. Oh the remote is on the TV, be a dear and get it for us. 

I’m eating lovey dovey… can’t you?

I’m all situated behind my tray, I’m afraid if I move it i may spill something.

(mimmicking) I might spill something… 

Now honey lumps. don’t be like that.

You could have gotten me some vodka, this tastes like $#it. Pumpkin puss.

Silly man, Thats fresh, i use my Juiceman to make that, eat your snack, I’ll get the remote.

– She pushes the snack tray away and the protective rubber pads on the base rub and catch the carpet. Over the tray goes. 

Oh fiddlesticks I’ve spilled my OJ.

Jeese woman,  Can’t you lift it when you move it.

I thought it would slide right out like on the commercial.  I’ll get my sham-wow.

Get the friggin’ remote while you’re up!  Buttercup

Ok, sugar lumps (stubborn ol man- she mutters)

I heard That! My Miracle-Ear is just working dandy!

-She uprights the Table-Mate II, hands the remote to him – he switches on the show. She returns with her Steam Boy Mop and sham-wow. Plops the bottle of Stoli on his tray and proceeds to reach under the tray and clean.  She gets the stain up and as she comes up she smacks her head on the tray, causing it to flip over and roll toward the side table, knocking over her Capidemonte’ collection. >CRASH!!< the patented painted steel base settles on the ceramic glazed fine Italian artwork, and further crushes it.   Shortly afterward the Ronald Regan commemorative coins begin rolling off. The husband leaps up, knocking over his tray dumping his oj, his snack, and the bottle of $31.00 vodka all over the floor.

Ouch! I’d better get my Head On!

Son of a Bitch!  You ok ,My sweetie pie gal?!

Where’s my Vroom Broom?

Behind the George Forman grill – my tulip!

Don’t worry – we can fix it with Mighty Putty

They voted off Danny?   

Honey – lock the door – Here comes Billy Mays!



A doorbell rings in Kalamazoo, a young woman answers with a cheery “Hello”!?

Its a FedEx carrier with a package. She signs and carries the easy to lift lightweight package into her living room. Opens it to find two broken dirty snack trays and a note.

“Tracy – be sure to teach the kids to eat at the dinner table and not in front of the TV. – Love MOM”



Boy I could have gone on forever with this…LOL   

 Thanks for Reading!    I’ll see you soon!



  1. LOL! SOMEBODY watches just a little too much t.v.!

    Great post!

  2. LOL! Loved the post… looks sure could be deceiving.

  3. That was great ! You just so made my morning. I never laugh before 9:00 and you had me rolling. Your the best !!! Lovin Ya ! XXXOOO

  4. Tooooooo funny! 🙂

  5. ahahahhahahahaahhahaha HAHHAHAHAH.

    I love your ‘conversation’ between them, and yes you HAVE to lock your doors if Billy Maze is anywhere NEAR the house!

  6. Way too funny and way too scary at the same time. Being out of work like I am, I have way too much time watching these infommercials myself….

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