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Yes. Like Now.

March 24, 2009

Solitude can be good for the soul. A time to reflect, to review ones life or ideals. An opportunity to go over things with a fine toothed comb and sort out things. Plan changes or self conformation. Thats not tonight. I have a lot of nothing to say. Tons to say with no ears to share it with. If you ask me what it is, I’ll say nothing. But inside I’m bursting with so much nothing to share it hurts.

I enjoyed a nice dinner with a buddy of mine who shared some personal thoughts, only confirming some mutuality between us. All good, yet in retrospect a dangerous conversation.  Confirmation.  We all have our hangnails that make us uncomfortable or questioning ourselves.

Tonight I’m experiancing something I’ve never felt before. A tad of jealousy. No details, just an avenue I’ve never driven down. No, really.  It’s all for naught. It’s strictly me. Perhaps a side I never knew I had. Overall I’m quite a confident man. I’m not a genius, rich, or a rock star but I am always comfortable and confident with myself.

Add to this a new found emotion that has me reeling within myself for someone.

It holds a key to a new door.  The other curtain. The 4th one. I’ve always chosen the one the lovely Carol Merril stood before. Never knowing what it revealed, but not afraid to step behind.

Now I’m behind a curtain familiar to even the Wizard of Oz himself .  One that reveals to himself someone he never knew.  One where emotions cause him to pull himself from behind the curtain and push away the strong bold image of steaming strenght.

Here she comes,

In my way,

Lot’s  of fun,

Time to play.

Get devices,

to cool me down.

She just melts me,

to the ground.

I’m a molten man, Molten man –

Molten man, molten man…..

In a hallway,

in the street.

She just melts me,

When we meet.

I’m at her mercy,

It’s no crime.

She controls me,

And she knows why.

‘Cause Im a molten man – Molten man.

Molten man – Molten man.

From the treetops,

to the hills.

I’m a victim,

of her will.

I’m excited,

By her way.

She’s my baby,

What else can I say.

‘Cause I’m a molten man – Molten man.

Molten man – Molten man.

Two sticks twice make fire, She’s the one I desire, I’m exstatic from her smile, worth a million miles, I’m a slave to her heart, she just tears me apart, I’m like clay she molds me, ‘special-ly when she holds me, bring me ice I’m breakin’, Feel the love we’re makin’, it comes straight from my soul, I just lose control.

Yeah here she comes,

Once again.

She’s my baby,

She’s my friend.

I’m ignited,

when she’s around.

she just sees me,

I melt down.

‘Cause Im a molten man – Molten man.

Molten man – Molten man.

 

——

What the hell is wrong with me.

Thats enough

Thanks for reading!   I’ll see you soon!

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7 comments

  1. Deep and powerful post.

    “Add to this a new found emotion that has me reeling within myself for someone.”

    “What the hell is wrong with me.”

    You sound lonely to me…..

    My friend, I hope you find who and what you are looking for.


  2. There’s nothing wrong with you. We all feel a little raw sometimes !!! If it makes you feel any better, I missed you !


  3. Wow. Very intense. This post really hit home. I think I know how you feel.


  4. Read the post and went wow. Just wow. That curtain can be a dangerous one. And peeking through it can be the undoing of many a strong man. Stay strong.

    BTW love the reference to Carol Merrill (Let’s Make a Deal). God, now I feel old…


  5. Thanks everyone!


  6. Am I crazy, or am I the only one who gets this? You didn’t sound lonely at all to me; just filled with love and excitement, and a little nervous (but in a good way.) I’m happy for you. (Either that, or I’m stupid and read this all wrong. If so, I apologize.)


  7. Mrs 4444 you got it right. But there’s a catch.



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